Lupin, Remus Lupin
by NeonDomino
Summary: Remus came to the fun-run as James Bond. He hadn't expected to attract someone in a wedding dress, insisting that they should run together as bride and groom. One-shot. For Rish.


**Written for the Gift-Giving Extravaganza - for Rish - starlight moon princess.**

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 **Lupin, Remus Lupin**

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Remus pulled at the suit he was wearing and frowned. How had he let James talk him into doing the fun run in a suit of all things? It was uncomfortable and tight and the thought of getting all sweaty and horrible on his suit grossed him out.

He glanced over at Lily and James as Lily straightened James' crown. They were dressed as a King and Queen - and Remus would willingly swap his suit for the robes and comfortable outfit he knew was underneath the robes. He glared at James and James smirked, pretending to not notice him.

He regretted not wearing his Robin Hood outfit. Yes, it was tights, but anything would be better than this outfit... plus that outfit got him a lot of attention at fancy-dress parties. Remus smiled to himself at the memory.

Lily came over to fix his bow-tie.

"Lily, I look stupid -" Remus began.

"Nonsense," Lily replied. "You look very handsome. Now, do you have your gun?"

"I'm not going to pull a fake gun out," Remus complained. "Knowing my luck, I'll probably get arrested."

Lily shook her head. "You won't, it's clearly fake."

"It's not something I'm going to risk," Remus replied. "Look, I don't even look like James Bond."

"Don't be silly, you're as charming as him," Lily said, fixing his jacket. Remus shot James an exasperated look and James moved closer, pulling Lily off Remus, and Remus fixed his jacket himself.

"Look you tosser, we're through. You've just left me here, looking like a bloody moron," a man nearby snapped. Remus glanced over and did a double take. "Don't call me again."

The man hitched up his dress, putting the phone into the pocket of his jeans underneath, before meeting Remus' gaze. He let the skirt of the puffy white dress fall again.

"Oi, who are you supposed to be?" The guy asked, quickly walking over.

"James Bond," Remus replied, uncertain what to say to this man. Was he wearing make-up? Was that lipstick or were his lips really that red?

"Do you want to make some money?" The guy asked, smiling at him hopefully.

Remus shrugged, warily.

"Look, my boyfriend... ex-boyfriend ditched me to go play football. We were supposed to meet here as an Angel and Devil. Clearly I'm the angel." The guy gave a twirl.

"Clearly," Remus echoed, not certain what else to say.

"So here's my offer. I'll give you twenty-quid if you run with me."

"What's the catch?"

"Catch?" The guy repeated. "No catch. Basically, I've been informed that I look like a bride, and you're a guy in a suit. So you look like a groom. It looks like our costumes match."

"So all I have to do is run with you?" Remus asked.

"Well, run with me, go for coffee with me, come back to mine?" The guy said, his eyes slowly moving down Remus' body. Grey eyes snapped back up to his and took in how wide Remus' had got. "I'm kidding," the guy said, suddenly sounding nervous. "Just let's get this race over with, and then we part ways."

"Remus honey, do you have your water?" Lily asked, walking over. She gave Sirius a curious glance, pressing a bottle into Remus' hand. "New friend? Thought you liked blokes?" It was just a whisper, but loud enough that the dark-haired stranger could hear, and he grinned.

"Sirius Black," he said, reaching his hand out. Lily hesitantly took his hand, her face portraying the shock at the man in what looked like a wedding dress.

"Lily Evans," she replied. She shot a confused look at Remus before returning to where James was waiting to start.

"So, are you in?" Sirius asked, turning back to Remus.

"I'm Remus," he blurted out.

"Yeah, your friend said your name," Sirius replied with a grin.

"Cool," Remus replied. His eyes travelled down the dress, falling on the ample bosom.

"I had to buy a bra to stuff and everything," Sirius explained, following Remus' gaze. "Realistic looking, right?"

"You're wearing a bra?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. "I wanted to look like an angel. Angels all look girly. I was going to wear a blonde wig too, but it was too itchy."

"Do you wear bra's often?" Remus blurted out.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Why? Is that one of your kinks?" he murmured, shifting closer to Remus. "If it is, I can be tempted to wear bras, but only for you."

Remus' mouth opened and closed a couple of times, and he willed words to come out. They didn't.

"I broke up with my boyfriend," Sirius told him. "It's not the first time he's let me down, and won't be the last. I ended it. I deserve better after all."

"You do," Remus agreed.

"And are you better?" Sirius asked, closing the distance between them and reaching up under the premise of fixing Remus' bow-tie. Lily had already fixed it, there was nothing wrong with it, yet Remus didn't want to tell this strange man in a dress to take a step back.

Even though he was suddenly struggling to breath.

"Come on, it's about to start," Sirius said, taking Remus' arm and dragging him over to stand near James and Lily, though he eyed Lily distrustfully.

 **...oOo...**

It quickly became apparent that Sirius was hot stuff, even in the dress. Remus thought so, but he was becoming increasingly annoyed at the guys passing that were hitting on him as the pair ran.

Remus began glaring at them until they went away again.

Finally the pair slowed down to a fast walk, the water bottle being passed back and forth between them.

"So, what do you usually wear?" Remus asked, breaking the silence.

"How do you know I don't wear dresses and bras on a day to day basis?" Sirius asked.

Remus grinned. "Okay, what sort of dresses do you normally wear."

"Leather ones," Sirius replied. "With tassels and straps and... and -"

"Suspenders and a whip?" Remus added.

Sirius let out a barking laugh. "I prefer jeans, boots and t-shirts myself," he said. "Leather jacket, motorbike, piercings, tattoos..." he glanced at Remus to gauge his reaction. "You?"

"Tattoos?" Remus repeated, hoarsely. Maybe Sirius would show him them if he asked nicely.

"Yeah," Sirius replied with a smile. "What's your usual attire, or do you walk around in sexy suits all the time?"

Remus smiled shyly. "Nothing of the sort. Jeans and t-shirts... and cardigans."

"I bet you look adorable," Sirius replied. "I love a man in a cardigan. Do you wear dorky jumpers?"

"Sometimes," Remus replied.

"Patterned?"

Remus nodded.

"Glasses? Books?" Sirius asked.

Remus nodded.

"Crap, you're turning me on," Sirius teased.

"Shut up," Remus mumbled.

"All joking aside, I bet you look cute in cardigans. So, what are your plans after here?"

"Hanging out with my friends," Remus replied, pointing to James and Lily a little distance in front.

Sirius nodded. "So, what are your thoughts on guys in dresses? Would you date one?"

"Tempting. At least I know what you'll look like on our wedding day."

"So, I'm the bride?" Sirius asked, pouting. "And here I was hoping to see you in a dress, a bunch of roses in your hands, with flowers braided in your hair."

"Flowers unfortunately won't stay in my hair," Remus replied. "I think they'd look good in yours and you've already got the wedding dress and I have a suit."

"So, we're all set to elope," Sirius said with a wink.

 **...oOo...**

"Finally, you're supposed to run," James said, glaring at Remus. "Not pick up girls. You don't even... crap, you're not a girl."

"It's not the first time you've seen me in a dress," Sirius said, grinning.

"Sirius Black, what in the hell are you doing here? I haven't seen you in ages." James pulled Sirius into a hug.

"Just picking up men," Sirius replied. "We've already planned our wedding." He winked at Remus.

"James, how do you know Sirius?" Remus asked.

"He's my cousin," James replied. "Haven't seen him in ages." He turned back to Sirius. "Sirius, we're going for drinks now. You coming?"

"Is Remus going?" Sirius asked hopefully. Remus snorted. Had he not just told Sirius he was going with his friends after the race?

"Of course he is. He's single too. You still with Benjy?"

"Broke up with him. Single? That's good to know," Sirius replied, falling into step next to James. "Can you convince him to date me?"

"What's going on?" Lily asked, frowning slightly.

"I really don't know," Remus replied. "But I'm pretty sure I have an invite back to his place later." His gaze followed Sirius, who seemed content to go to the bar in his angel/wedding dress.

"Are you going to go?"

"Yeah, he might let me see his tattoos," Remus replied. "I really want to see what's under that dress."

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 **I hope you enjoyed :)**


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